Should You Tell People You’re A Writer?
It’s relatively easy to explain to someone that you’re thinking of changing jobs or going back to uni to get a new qualification. You wouldn’t start sweating on your upper lip if you were telling your friend about the new hobby you picked up; painting, knitting, toe-nail collecting etc. So why does it feel like you’ve swallowed a bag of tiger snakes when you’re considering whether or not to mention the fact that you’re writing a novel?
Why do we treat writing like it’s an illicit affair or a body disintegrating in acid in our bathtub? (yes I’m knee deep in edits of a crime novel, how can you tell?). My theory is it’s because of the inherently personal nature of writing. Your words can feel like an imprint of your soul and any judgement of your writing is a judgement on you and who YOU inherently are. Words are less open to interpretation than paintings or other forms of creative art. You risk more putting something in writing (just ask any lawyer or white collar criminal).
For me, being a neurotic people pleaser, it was also always a fear of what other people would think.
What right do I have to say I’m a writer? It will look like I think so highly of myself when it will be painfully obvious to everyone that I’m not good at all.
I haven’t had anything published, not even a short story, so I’ve got nothing to back up this claim.
No one will “get it”. I won’t be taken seriously in my normal job.
It’s a dream, like saying “I want to be a Hollywood actress”, everyone will nod politely but roll their eyes in secret.
I’m so annoyed I wasted so much time thinking this way. It wasn’t until I HAD to tell people what I was doing because I’d won a mentorship and had to take a week off work for it that my “secret” came out.
The way people reacted shocked me.
They were so excited. They wanted to know why I hadn’t said anything earlier. They were proud of me, happy for me and supportive. My family offered to help out more watching my son so I could have writing time on the weekend when I wasn’t at work. People wanted to read it, wanted to know when it was getting published (people who aren’t writers will always ask this and no matter how many times you explain the glacial speed of the publishing industry, and how it’s not as simple as just writing a book and then ‘getting it published’ straight away, will still continue to ask whenever you see them).
I couldn’t believe I’d kept this a secret. It made literally no sense once I said it out loud.
So, for what it’s worth, here are some reasons why I think it’s important to call yourself a writer and start telling people you’re doing it:
1. You take yourself seriously.
Forget about others. You’re the one writing the book. You’re the only thing standing in your way of finishing it or not. You have to believe it’s possible or it’s not going to be. When you call yourself a writer, you start believing it, and then you’re 90% of the way there.
2. It’s easier to ask for support
Once you explain to people what you’re doing, why it’s important, watch how their offers to help you with your kids and other aspects of life start pouring in. Your friends understand why you can’t make that coffee catch up because it’s during your designated ‘writing time’. People generally don’t get resentful (unless you are starting to go too far the other way, and sacrificing all other aspects of life for writing…that’s a whole other blog post).
3. The earlier you do it, the sooner you start to build your author platform
It’s hard to have a writing Instagram account if you’re covertly beating around the bush about the fact you’re a writer. And since it’s now a universally acknowledged truth that all writers in want of a writing career must endeavour to have an online presence - this is becoming essential.
4. You have more self confidence
Similar to point 1. On the days when it’s hard, when you want to give up, if you can keep saying “I’m a writer” it will help you get through. It’s like with anything. “I’m a mother - I have to pack the lunch box.” “I’m a teacher - I have to get that marking done”. It’s just what you do, it’s just who you are. It’s not negotiable because it’s part of your identity.
5. You open yourself up to opportunities
If you believe you’re a writer, you will write more, other people will see you as a writer, you never know where this will lead. But I can guarantee it will lead you to connecting with other writers, finding your tribe and opening up the incredibly supportive writing community where you will find friendships, support and writing opportunities that could lead you towards your ultimate goals.
So give it a go! I think if you’re writing then you’re already a writer. The worst that can happen is someone says “no you’re not.” * There’s always room for these people in the aforementioned bathtub.
*I’ve never heard of anyone actually saying this in response before.
